I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
