Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
