you guys were way drunker than both of me
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
how does that bad decision feel?
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