He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
