she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
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I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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