we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize