Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
