k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize