U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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