Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
