Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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