they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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