hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
