It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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