i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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