Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
