Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
