You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
