Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
