We won't sleep together?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
