Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
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These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
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We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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