Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
