chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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