Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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