I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
