I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
