i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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