There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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