No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
