Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize