so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
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i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
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Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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