I swear she didn't look like that last week.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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