I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
