my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
