check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
