If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
