Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
