Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
