You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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