he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
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