god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
