I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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