Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
