this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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