I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
