now i know why i became what i already was.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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