Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
