If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
