would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
