Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
