Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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