I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize