Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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