My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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