At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
