I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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