Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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