I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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