at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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