Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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