Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
